(Really! Someone roll her over.)4. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. (Check under her legging.)5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly.She also appears to be depressed. (Ya think?)6. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. (How's that again?)7. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.(Well, I'm glad we've got that timeline straight.)8. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. (Rectal? Thyroid? OMG!)9. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. (Huh?)10. Skin: somewhat pale but present. (Could be very messy otherwise.)11. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. (Couldn't we use a more comfortable surface? A table? A bed? Something?)And a few more...A quiz...Q1. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? (wet)Q2. What is the main reason for divorce?(marriage)Q3. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three. We get inside the sun porch and she brings out some ice, and I pull down my jeans and start to ice my balls. She comes out of the kitchen and stares at me, "Boxers too, get them off" she says shaking her head at me. Now she wore a pink bikini top and short royal blue spandex shorts, it had been a hot day and she was working on some awesome tan lines. Now I'm a little embarrassed with balls out in my hand in an older lady's home, then she hands me more ice and walks back into the the kitchenShe comes out with a jar, "What is that? I ask"; "lineament" she says, " my Granny back in Maine taught how to make it, Sunflower oil, beeswax, crushed mint and duck fat, it will bring down the swelling". Then she got down on her knees in front of me and said "Spread your legs, up and out like a shanghai whore" her humor obviously trying to lighten an embarrassing situation. I was hesitant to expose my nuts, to this woman after all she was my neighbor for Christs sake, but she was adamant. "If you.
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